Thursday, January 13, 2011

Faith & Baptism up for discussion...

Tonight a friend asked me (you know who you are), "I wonder if you can be unbaptized?".  Kind of a thought provoking question isn't it.  The ritual of baptism is supposed to be a show of your devotion to a particular religion or faith, but what happens when you find that your devotion is faltering and you don't hold the same beliefs as you once did?  CAN you be unbaptized?  I have found that there are times in my life in which I find myself questioning what I really believe.  Take for instance, when I was growing up, I lived in a household that believed in God but never really expressed that belief outside of the home with the exception of going to church on holiday's such as Easter and Christmas.  In my early teens I found comfort in one faith in particular, the Mormon faith.  I found the people of that faith to be very family oriented and genuinely good people, with a solid foundation of principles and beliefs.  So after I moved out and began my journey in life on my own I sought to be a part of what I thought at the time was where my devotion lied.  I got baptized, started going to church and felt like I had found where I belonged, and then I realized that I was different than the people that shared those beliefs.  I finally admitted to myself that I was, in fact, gay.  This of course went completely against the beliefs that I held so dear and that comforted me, I now felt like an outcast and alone.  Now if you don't already know, being a homosexual in the Mormon faith is worthy of excommunication and is an unforgivable sin, one that if noticed at an early age is met with sometimes severe "therapy".   My devotion had come in to question.  So what do you do when your faith begins to falter?  I slowly began to stop going to church, stopped associating with those whom had comforted me in my times of need, for fear that if they ever found out the truth that I would be shunned and outcast.  For several years I still considered myself Mormon, but the devotion and my sense of belonging was gone.  One day I made a major decision that changed the way I look at myself and faith as a whole.  I started to research several different faiths and beliefs to see if there was another one that fit me better, and that would accept me for who I am as a person.  This proved to be next to impossible.  I finally discovered that you don't need to identify with any faith or belief system, all you need is faith in yourself and an understanding that the is something greater than you and I.  I have held this belief system for several years now, and I find comfort and joy in it everyday of my life.  So CAN you be unbaptized or do you just resolve to adopting an individual belief system that makes you feel accepted just the way you are.  I know I have, have you?

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